Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Family Affair


March 17 mostly famous for leprechauns, shamrock pasties, and green beer, but in my household it means Fazah's (father's) birthday! He turned the big 57, but what that mean for my family is just more time together. My sisters were busy as usual with their own lives, babies and all, so Anita (mom) and I took over the prepping and shopping for my fazah's big day. The whole being home for more than a night and being with my mom has made me so happy and has opened my eyes to a whole new insight. My mom told me 1000 different comebacks which makes the current score BG:4 Mom: 1023, and combined with my family I have like 12374809852049 stories about crickets crawling in peoples cracks, my mom thinking she is the cutest thing ever and saying "OH I'LL DO IT", and the best of all my grandpa! :) So I will use my blog for the next couple entries to not only update you about the bizarre things that occur through out my day, but also leave 2-3 maybe even 4 stories about my family. But I'll start off with telling you 2 today, 1 about my Grandfather and another about my mother learning how to ride a bike!

The Cowgirl Rides Again : Anita Gene's First Bike Ride
(like George Strait's The Cowboy Rides Again for those of you who are n
ot country savy)
For those of you who don't know, my mother was born and raised
on the Rez and was one day picked up and taken to Greasewood boarding school. There my mom learned all kinds of stuff., most likely stuff you'll hear about in later stories, but in this o
ne how she learned to ride a bike. So all the kids were about 7 year
s old and were lined up like dominos outside and infront of them shiny red bikes, which could be
considered out of place in the dust rez roads, covered in thorny bushes with HOSH (stickers)... pretty much a hell for bikes. And my mothers teacher, MR. MAL-KEY-WAY (MILKYWAY... real name MAC-A-WAY... but how the all little navajo kids said his name including my mom who probably spurred on the use of the nick name) looked at all the kids and asked, " Who wants to try first?!" Of course being natives no one said anything, then my mom, who things she is the cutest thing in the wor
ld steps up, raises her hand and says, "OH I'LL DO IT!" in the most annoying voice ever. Mr MALKYWAY then says okay Anita, now get on the bike and just keep peddling don't stop or you'll fall over. So they after providing the readers digest version of how to ride a bike my mom got on and began to peddle. SHOOK SHOOK SHOOK when her bike and
faster and faster she began to peddle... then 100 yards later she noticed a big metal fence made with two horizontal parallel beams. My mom having no idea how to safely dismount kept peddling SHOOOK SHOOOK SHOOK, and finally BANGGGGGG! She ran into the beams! She got a giant cut on her leg, and instantly after the BANG she heard all the kids laught that awful movie sound when all the kids laugh at some poor bastard- the poor bastard being my mother! She got up dusted herself off and glared revenge!...to be continued
hahaha but it was funny because 50 years later when my mom was telling me this story she said, They could have at least warned me that the fence was there!
Ughh mom... like you couldnt see it! hahahhaha









Grandpa and his pet Donkey

Well, I hope you understand that because my mother grew up on the rez, m
y grandpa had to have grown up on the rez this was probably about 1915 when my grandpa was 10. My grandpa used to take the sheep hide, wool intact, to the local trading post about 10 miles
away to get money to feed his family... imagine kids actually doing something other than watching reruns of sponge bob or playing wii! After a while the store owner, felt bad for my grandpa who used to carry 10-15 sheep skins 10 miles, so he found him a donkey!
One day the store owner gave my grandpa the donkey, it was on the smallish side and kind of had a breathing problem, kind of like giving a 16 year old a
pinto with a nail in the tires, but it was still a means of transportation. So when my grandpa got home his mom said (in navajo, much more funnier), "Where did you get this donkey, did you steal it from the store owner?! What are you thinking?!" YAHDELAH!" Then my grandpa just said "I didn't the man at the store gave it to me!" So after that my grandpa would pile up the entirely too small donkey with several sheep skins (imagine diyonisis on Fantasia riding the small donkey while he consumes large amounts of wine). My grandpa then got on top of the donkey no shoes and all... and when the donkey would slow down or stop... he would jump off than chase the donkey that would then run away from him! hahah poor grandpa and his first ever donkey. Just imagine a small boy with skins on the back of a small donkey with his homemade straw hat and rubber tire shoes and a cowboy bandana.. sunburned!

He rode directly from the mountains after dilkon to the north of the road to the big star.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Special Word of the Day: PRETEND






Today was oober interesting... well as interesting as sitting in a room that is getting filled with paint fumes can get. I woke up and was forced against my will to take Wacey to the dentist to get 1, not 2 nor 3 nor 4 but only 1 tooth pulled, the reas
on I make a big deal about this is because I have to take him back tomorrow (waste more time) to the dentist! What at numbskull! But anyways...
After, I was named the project manager of our house restoration, other wise known as" the-person-suckered-into
-sitting-at-home-and-making-sure-the-painters-get-the-job-done." Literally watching paint dry. Apparently this was important because the painters have not shown up for the past 2 days, and only returned after mom bear sent poppa bear after the gyppers! Yup, one more reason my mom stresses the importance of having a man around, I think it falls right behind the one about needing to open tight jars... I think.
So I basically sat around from 8am till 430 pm watching and waiting, getting high of the fumes and reorganizing and ripping my ipod music my itunes on to my NEW MAC BOOK PRO 13.3 with upgraded memory. A task that entailed 30 minutes on the phone with an I.T guy named Maurice (whom I am sur
e his name was not really Maurice, I guess pretending to be Maurice really turned him on?), 10£, and hours of looking up the birth-given names of country, pop, dance, electronic, rock and indie rock music! Can I say KTNN?!
After being locked in the room with my computer and lots of Shakira I convinced Wacey to go on a run... and swayed him to run a marathon with me ... what a sucker. Then my mother Anita came home. She wanted to shop... surprise surprise!!!
We ended up going to Sam's club and got our cart at 8:29 and entered and the lady at the door says you have 1 minute... what a DUMBASS! Who lets people get all settled in their
cart and enter the store with 1 minute to shop... what does it look like we're on SUPER MARKET SWEEP?! The nerve... she has some real MOXY! So then we meandered on to Bed, Bath and Beyond, and after 1/2 an hour of complaining we left with a 9 dollar water bottle and a 12 dollar bottle of ZERO ODOR. We then entered Borders books. This was interesting because at this point Anita and I were both tired and trying to push each others "BIG RED DO NOT PUSH" buttons: there were comments about mother's chest hair, belly button lint, and putting duct tape on each others mustaches.
The fun really began when my mom told me to buy a pricey CD. I put it back after peeking at the price but my mom insisted she would purchase it... so I picked it back up... then she said she would get me the med
iocre CD for my birthday. I said "I DON'T WANT THAN FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!! " And then I placed it back down. She then went on to say, It's okay we can PRETEND our birthday is tomorrow! Ughh typical mo
m.

Then after I mocked my mom for looking at a hordacultre book for 10 minutes we checked out. The poor guy at the desk listened and probably listened to us
bicker like an old married couple, then asked me if I went
to MNT. POINTE high school. I told him I did, then he asked my year, i said 07'. Coincidently, it was the same year as him, but stupid me didn't remember him. But my mom apparently did... only after looking at his name tag! She
pretended to be in a complete stupor because didn't e I remember him, Yelling "I can't believe you don't remember SHANE..." ***KEEP in mind she really didn't know Shane. He was immediately delighted by my mom's acting and I was immediately a DUMBASS!

The moral of today: Life is better if you just pretend. Like Maurice and my mother.


Score
BG: 3
Mom: 23

-Handwave and Highfives
XO BG :]